The Courage to Be a Beginner: How Adults Model a Growth Mindset
5 December, 2025
Author Dr Will Zoppellini
We often ask children to embrace a growth mindset and be brave learners, but we rarely pause to admit how learning unsettles us too. I remember it vividly, a quiet afternoon, a cluttered desk, and me, the supposed “expert”, nursing a third triple espresso and feeling utterly lost.
I was in the middle of my PhD, buried under a mountain of academic articles, with half-formed ideas and a thesis outline that barely made sense. Each time I tried to stitch together theories, concepts, and pedagogical frameworks into something coherent, I felt as though I had never written a sentence in my life. I hesitated, stared at the pages, and felt embarrassment creeping in, “Shouldn’t I already know this? I’ve read all these papers before.” The voice in my head urged me to avoid the task and organise my digital files, alphabetise PDFs, answer emails, anything but face the blank page on my laptop again.
Yet, day after day, I forced myself to return. I read. I re-read. I drafted. I re-drafted. I restructured. Occasionally, a small glimmer of clarity appeared. Slowly, bit by bit, I began to build a narrative.
That experience taught me that the feelings we often try to avoid, confusion, frustration, embarrassment, and the fear of being wrong, are not signs that something is failing. They are part of learning itself. I needed to see them as states to move through and manage, not escape. Embracing them didn’t just help me improve, it strengthened my growth mindset and changed how I approached challenge. We ask children to face these same emotions every day, yet although adults feel them just as intensely, we’ve learned to hide them well.
Meanwhile, the children we support are watching closely. They notice how we react when a new digital system makes no sense, when we struggle with a new teaching approach, or when something goes wrong. Whether we realise it or not, we are always teaching them what it means to be a learner, how to handle uncertainty, how to respond to failure, and whether effort is something to be ashamed of or something to embrace.
In this post, I’ll explore why growth mindset matters for adults, how it develops across the lifespan, and how your own moments of effort, discomfort, and persistence can become powerful models for the children you support.
For reflection this deep, make sure your coffee is ready.
Table of Contents
How We Learn Can Shape How Children Learn
Growth mindset is often discussed in the context of children, in classrooms, sports fields, feedback strategies, posters on walls. But the concept is not supposed to live only in childhood. Adults are not finished products; we are learners too, and we gain just as much from embracing the belief that our abilities can grow. At its core, a growth mindset is the belief that human qualities such as intelligence, personality, and skill can develop over time through effort, effective strategies, reflection, and guidance1. A fixed mindset, in contrast, assumes these qualities are static. That no matter what you do, you simply are the way you are1.
Being an adult, let alone an educator, coach, or parent, does not place us in the position of all-knowing experts. We, too, must stretch, adapt, and learn. Maybe we’re reading a new book about pedagogy, trying out a fresh coaching approach, learning a new language, baking bread for the first time, or wrestling with the latest technology. In each case, we step into unfamiliar territory, and often feel unsure, overwhelmed, or unskilled. Embracing a growth mindset in these moments has profound implications2.
Consider the last time you faced something hard. Did you think, “I can learn this,” or “I’ll never get it right”? That inner voice reveals more about your mindset than you might expect. It shapes not only your willingness to persist, but also how you model struggle to the children in your life. It shapes how you respond to failure, how you interpret effort, and how you guide others through difficulty.
When we relinquish the idea that failure signals defeat and instead frame it as part of the learning process, we shift from what some researchers call a “helpless response”, disengaging, withdrawing, assuming the outcome is outside our control, to a “mastery response,” where we stay engaged, adjust strategy, and continue trying3. That shift is not only beneficial for us, but it becomes a blueprint for young people watching.
Because here’s the unspoken truth: how we learn becomes part of what children learn.
This is not simply philosophy. It is foundational to how children understand learning itself. Developmental theories show that children learn through imitation, observation, and social cues long before formal instruction begins4. When children witness trusted adults working through challenges, they internalise the behaviour, and absorb the coping strategies, emotional regulation, and persistence that accompany it4,5.
Research on observational learning described in the work of theorists such as Lev Vygotsky6 and within the broader framework of Social Learning Theory7, demonstrates that children acquire cognitive skills and social behaviours by watching others, imitating, adapting, and eventually internalising what they see6,8.
A child of any age watching you frown at a new app, sigh at a mistake, or laugh and try again is not simply observing an adult “doing something”. They are observing what learning feels like. They are learning whether effort is safe, whether confusion is normal, whether mistakes are allowed, and whether adults the people who supposedly “know everything” also get things wrong.
What the Research Shows About Growth Mindset in Adults
Believing in the possibility of development isn’t wishful thinking. It’s a mindset that can shape the brain, behaviour, motivation, and well-being across the entire lifespan. Let’s look at two examples from research with adults.
In one study⁹ with older learners (over 65 years old), researchers offered a real-world, multi-skill learning programme where participants took on new challenges, from art techniques to languages, while also exploring neuroplasticity and growth mindset principles. Those who began the programme with a stronger growth mindset, or who deepened their endorsement in growth mindset over time, showed significant cognitive improvements compared with those with lower growth-mindset scores. This demonstrates that even later in life, our brains remain malleable. When we invest in learning and approach challenges with effort and curiosity, measurable gains follow.
This tells us change isn’t simply possible, it’s probable, if we remain open. Adulthood isn’t a slow decline by default, but it can be a second act of meaningful learning.
A second study¹⁰ examining health behaviours in adults suggests that the effects of a growth mindset in adulthood extend far beyond cognition. Researchers found that when adults shifted their beliefs about the malleability of health, they changed how they approached health behaviours altogether. Participants learned new strategies, responded to setbacks with greater resilience, and showed a higher willingness to try unfamiliar or challenging health practices. Over time, they engaged in healthier habits and sustained them, improving their overall lifestyle.
Taken together, these findings emphasise that a growth mindset supports lifelong learning. Learning doesn’t stop at 18, 30, or 50. The potential for development continues as long as belief, habits, and commitment remain. Mindset isn’t something we hand to children and outgrow, it is a living orientation we can cultivate throughout our entire lives.
How Adult Doubt Can Create a Child’s Courage
When I think back to the moments I’ve felt frustration, hesitation, or the quiet fear of getting it wrong, I recognise the very same emotions I have seen in children throughout my career. The difference is that adults become highly skilled at hiding these feelings, whereas children wear them in plain sight. But beneath the surface, the emotional experience of learning is strikingly similar.
Children feel frustration dozens of times a day. A complicated concept, a new movement pattern, a math problem that suddenly stops making sense, or a new word. Each moment brings a spike of discomfort. Children don’t yet have the emotional tools to regulate that surge, so it can look like disengagement, laziness, or “giving up.” But what they really need is to understand that frustration is a normal part of learning, something even adults experience. When they see us tolerate frustration, breathe through it, try again, they learn that it’s safe to stay with the challenge a little longer.
The fear of getting things wrong is equally powerful. Many children will hide their effort because effort feels like evidence of inadequacy11. If something takes them time, it must mean they are “not good” at it. This belief doesn’t come from nowhere, children absorb it from adult behaviour long before they can articulate it. When we hide our own mistakes, or rush to appear competent, children learn that mistakes are embarrassing. But when we let them see an adult stumble, laugh, correct, try again we reframe failure as part of becoming skilled, not a threat to identity.
Avoidance is another familiar behaviour. Just as I avoided looking at the blank page for my PhD and found a dozen interesting tasks to do instead, children avoid challenges when they don’t trust that they can cope with the feelings that challenge brings. Avoidance is rarely laziness, and often a protective mechanism. When they see what persistence can look like, children learn that beginning is possible, even when it feels awkward.
Most importantly, children need to hear that it is acceptable to say, “I don’t know yet.” They learn this from us. When we ask questions, seek clarity, or openly take feedback, children understand that learning isn’t about knowing everything, but about being willing to pursue a journey.
In the end, learning doesn’t begin from confidence. It begins from uncertainty, from willingness to try despite doubt.
Practical Ways Adults Can Cultivate a Growth Mindset (and Model It for Children)
Talk about it out loud.
When you’re challenged, when you hesitate, when you have to start again, treat it as a teachable moment. Say: “I’m finding this hard, but I’m curious to learn.” Let children hear your inner voice. Let them hear your doubt, your question, your resolve. Honest talk normalizes struggle and makes learning part of life.
Do as you say.
If you consistently show kindness, openness, curiosity, humility they absorb these attitudes. If you greet mistakes with laughter, reflection, and a plan to improve, they learn that perfection is not the goal growth is.
Seek challenges and novelty.
Learn a new language, try a new sport, read about a new theory, explore a new hobby. By embracing challenges yourself, you send a silent but powerful message: learning isn’t a childhood phase, it’s a lifelong path.
Reframe failure as feedback.
When something goes wrong don’t hide or excuse it. Instead say: “This didn’t work let’s figure out why.” Show that mistakes are data, not indictments. That failure isn’t about being “bad,” but about being human, exploring, learning.
Ask for feedback and show how you use it.
When children observe that you ask others for input, reflect, revise, iterate, they learn that growth isn’t solitary. It’s a social, responsive, iterative process. Feedback becomes a tool for improvement, not a judgment of worth.
Model “I don’t know yet.”
Let “not knowing” be an acceptable, even expected, place. Encourage questions, curiosity, and celebrate early steps. When children see adults confidently inhabit “not knowing,” the pressure to “always be right” lifts.
The strongest shift we can make as adults is to change our relationship with failure. When we treat failure as a verdict, children learn to avoid it2. When we treat it as information, they learn to approach it. The difference is profound. Children don’t become resilient by being protected from challenge, they become resilient by seeing that mistakes aren’t moments to fear, but moments to learn from.
Final Thoughts
In my decades of studying motivation and mindsets across schools, universities, sport coaching, performance sport and community programmes, I’ve come to a simple, unshakeable truth:
Doing something when you feel scared, anxious, or uncertain, that is motivation. That is embracing a growth mindset. That is learning. Doing it when you feel confident, certain, or already skilled, that’s comfort. That’s staying safe, and it doesn’t give you growth.
As adults we need courage too. The courage to start again, to be beginners, to try something we know we won’t get right the first time. When children witness that courage, genuine effort over perfection, they begin to understand what learning looks like. They don’t learn bravery from our polished moments, but from watching us hesitate, wobble, and try anyway. By showing them our process, we quietly give them permission to be brave learners themselves.
So, take the risk. Start before you feel ready. Allow yourself to be seen as imperfect, curious, effortful, human… learning.
Until next time, stay curious
Dr. Will Zoppellini
References
References
- DWECK, C. S. 2008. Achievement in Math and Science. Journal of Educational Psychology, 96(1), 97-109
- DWECK, C.S. 2000. Self-theories. New York, NY: Psychology Press
- Dweck, C.S. and Yeager, D.S. 2019. Mindsets: A view from two eras.Perspectives on Psychological science, 14(3), pp.481-496.
- Lancy, D.F., Bock, J. and Gaskins, S. eds. 2010.The anthropology of learning in childhood. Bloomsbury Publishing PLC.
- Rodriguez Buritica, J.M., Eppinger, B., Heekeren, H.R., Crone, E.A. and van Duijvenvoorde, A.C. 2024. Observational reinforcement learning in children and young adults.npj Science of Learning, 9(1), p.18.
- Vygotsky, L. and Cole, M., 2018. Lev Vygotsky: Learning and social constructivism.Learning Theories for Early Years Practice. UK: SAGE Publications Inc, pp.68-73.
- Bandura, A. (1977). Social learning theory. Englewood Cliffs, NJ: Prentice Hall.
- Potrac, P., Nelson, L., Groom, R. and Greenough, K., 2016. Lev Vygotsky: Learning through social interaction in coaching. InLearning in sports coaching (pp. 101-112). Routledge.
- Sheffler, P., Kürüm, E., Sheen, A.M., Ditta, A.S., Ferguson, L., Bravo, D., Rebok, G.W., Strickland-Hughes, C.M. and Wu, R., 2023. Growth mindset predicts cognitive gains in an older adult multi-skill learning intervention.The International Journal of Aging and Human Development, 96(4), pp.501-526
- O’Brien, A.G., Foust, J.L. and Taber, J.M., 2024. Physical health mindsets and information avoidance.Journal of Behavioral Medicine, 47(6), pp.1052-1066
- YEAGER, D.S., and DWECK, C. S. 2012. Mindsets That Promote Resilience: When Students Believe That Personal Characteristics Can Be Developed. Educational Psychologist, 47(4), 302-314